Make Your Own Laundry Detergent!

I have been trying to cut my expenses in half...but with kids Y'all know how hard that can be so I have been researching how to make my own cleaners, health & beauty items, as well as home remedies....Over the next few weeks I will share all the recipes and tips I have found that DO ACTUALLY WORK....and sometimes I have had to "TWEAK" or change a recipe to work for me and my family....I hope these help you as well as they have helped me.
It seemed every recipe I found was for 10 to 12 gallon batches. I don’t know about you but I don't have the space to store that much detergent... so I divided the recipe by 4....this is enough to fill 2 1.17 gallon jugs

Why should I bother making laundry detergent when I could just buy it??? Well I got out my calculator and this SHOCKED me... I usually pay, on average, $8.00 every 1 1/2 weeks for a 75-load bottle of my old detergent. I found that by making the recipe below, I saved about $7.80 for a 75-load bottle of Homemade detergent!!!  A little over a 97% savings!

Hmmmm....PROS:

 A). Less risk of damage to my Washing Machine:
 How?? Simple...The water pumps on High Efficiency,,,"HE" washing machines are damaged and wear out faster if you’re using soap that creates too many suds. So manufacturers “created” special “HE” laundry detergents. BUT...Did you know that regular laundry detergent actually has something added to it to make it suds up?  Soap isn’t able to do that on it’s own.  More suds = more clean, Right???....WRONG!! Which mean their marketing teams know they can sell more at a higher cost so in the end it boosts their bottom line to add that ingredient. Isn't it amazing how public perceptions or misconceptions actually drive the market and increase costs? BOTTOM LINE....they get richer and we get poorer!!

B). Less waste:
Instead of over 34 empty plastic jugs per year in the landfills from my family's detergent usage....I just recycled a couple of my old detergent bottles.They have built in measuring cups and they don’t cost me 0ne extra penny.Cool!  I just saved and rinsed out the last two bottles from my old store-bought laundry detergent when they were empty. 

C). You know what’s in it:
You can add essential oils to your batch to scent it or not, it's up to you..You aren’t adding any chemical sudsing agents, no emulsifiers, no gobbledy gook and no alphabet soup chemical-type names or dyes.

D). It’s easy:
  1) It takes about 20 minutes to prepare. 
  2)There are only 3 ingredients. You can buy them  at Wal~Mart, giant Eagle, or pretty much anywhere.(Stores tend to hide these items on the bottom shelves underneath the fabric softener section. 
 3) All you need is a bar of Fels-Naptha or bar of soap, a box of Borax and a box of Arm and Hammer Washing Soda (not baking soda). which will cost you about $7.90

E). It works :
    I have been using this detergent on all our laundry for weeks, now. It works exactly the same as my old detergent.

F). By making my own Laundry detergent I only pay approximately $0.20 vs $8 for a 75 load bottle    of detergent.....Now let's break down the actual costs and savings over a 1 yr period......52 weeks divided by 1 1/2 weeks(how often I bought    LD)=34.5 weeks...
   to calculate the cost to buy laundry detergent for a year I  multiplied 34.5 weeks X $8.00   =$276.00....YIKES!!!
VS
   making my own at $0.20 X 34 weeks =  $6.90.....for a yearly savings of $269.10
  
HMMM....CONS????? ....there are none!!!

.
DIY Laundry Detergent

Makes(2) 1.17 gallon bottles of laundry detergent (75 loads each@1/4 cup per load)

Ingredients:
    1/4 bar of Fels Naptha or bar of soap
    2 Tablespoons Borax powder
    1/4 cup (4 Tablespoons) Arm and Hammer Washing Soda (not baking soda)

Instructions:
1) Cut Fels Naptha or bar of soap into 4ths(store the extra 3 in a Zip~Loc bag for your next 3 batches).

2) Grate the 1/4 Fels Naptha Bar or bar of soap into medium shreds.

3) Put grated Fels Naptha or bar of soap and 1 cup of water into a pot and melt over medium-low heat, stirring   constantly. Continue cooking until all the soap has dissolved. It will be a little sudsy, but no chunks of  soap should remain.

4) Pour 2 1/2 quarts (10 cups) of water into a large container or bucket

5) Add the cooked soap mixture, Borax and washing soda.

6) stir it blending all the ingredients.

7) Add 2 1/2 quarts more (10 cups) water.

8) Stir again. You'll notice a few suds on the top of your stirred soap.

9) If you have a lid for the container you're mixing this in, just put the lid on it and let it set overnight.I mixed mine in a bucket and ended up transferring it to another container with a lid, before setting it aside for overnight.

10) The next morning, your soap will have thickened and gelled considerably. Stir it up and then you're ready to transfer it into two laundry bottles for    your use.

11) Divide the soap evenly between the two 1.17 gallon laundry bottles you've saved. They'll be about half full. (If you're using empty milk jugs or some other size container, the ratio is one part soap to one part water. Just fill the container you're using half full with your DIY soap and then finish filling with water.)

12) Finish filling each bottle with water.

13) Shake the bottles vigorously to mix and you're ready to wash laundry.

14) It takes 1/4 cup per load.

15) Give the bottle a shake before each load, to make sure nothing has separated and it's mixed well.

"A DAY WITH NO COFFEE"-Part II: HELL HATH NO FURY AS VENGEFUL AS A MOMMY WITHOUT HER COFFEE~

DISCLAIMER: 
1)     PUT THE COFFEE DOWN BEFORE READING.....failing to do so may result in choking, spewing, sloshing of your liquid sanity....should this occur immediately yell run to all around you so they may live to see another day. 


2)     I am a coffee-loving  insomniac and on occasion I allow the twisted, sleep-deprived brain cells and voices out of their cells. This usually leads to off the wall blog posts such as  A DAY WITHOUT COFFEE-part I & II ... both of which  are the result of  twisted brain cells & the voices;  The following posts are a compilation of my personal coffee addiction and that of several others who share the blood type JAVA-HIGH-OCTANE with me
3)     Please feel free to share them with friends...give someone you know a much needed laugh...and yes, this twisted mind will be cranking out many more such rants/posts in the near future

NEVER EVER RUN OUT OF COFFEE....to do so may result in the unleashing of THE  BEASTIE!!!!!
 Every day millions of sleep-deprived, running on fumes-desperately in need of a shower, Moms to whom actually getting to pee or poop without children banging on the door, pets shoving paws up under the door trying to get in, and the ones that race Mom to the bathroom to prevent her from closing the door, for just a few minutes of privacy to relieve herself...those Lil demon spawn & nosy cats or dogs almost always manage to get in  before she can close the door.....pour huge and multiple cups and/or pots of coffee that is the ELIXIR OF SANITY they fill their cups with the highly caffeinated, dark-roasted nectar we call coffee in hopes of vanquishing THE BEASTIE that exists in the deep, dark, vengeful, anger filled recesses of her very soul....
She is stronger than several dozen men, has the ability to complete a 3 page single spaced list of chores and errands while herding the lil demon spawn to and from school, to 3 different after school activities while keeping the younger siblings under control. She maintains the home, all the housework is her mantle, the 3 ton burden that she carries everyday with a smile upon her face...she greets her significant other when her comes home from work---but not before he has spent a minimum of at least  2 hours hanging out with his friends to unwind from his stressful job....mind you he has NOT accomplished nor has he completed as many nor as complex & difficult tasks as she already had before lunchtime...YET...that man comes in, grumbling cuz the kids are fighting, the food is cold, then he has the nerve to point out that she did not finish the dishes......He is not a very smart being is he?
SHE IS A MOMMY....and what exactly is his super power???....You may ask What is her Kryptonite, ...but are you brave enough to learn the answer to this question??? If so...then keep reading: however her kryptonite while crippling her sweet smile and walk away attitude..it also unleashes horrors way beyond any tortures that the DEVIL himself could ever dream up! NEVER ALLOW THE FOLLOWING TO OCCUR to do so is to Unleash The Fury of the BEASTIE!!

 1) never run out of coffee.
2) ALWAYS have an emergency plan complete with the funds and/or transportation to buy more IIMMEDIATELY !!
3) Should you fail to heed #1 & #2..... GET OUT, GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS YOU CAN FAST!!!! RUN, RUN NOW, DON'T LOOK BACK, JUST RUN!!!
THE COMPLETE LACK OF COFFEE & OR MEANS TO SECURE THE NEEDED CAFFEINATED ELIXIR THAT KEEPS A MOMMY SANE AND ALL OTHERS SAFE  IN OUR PRESENCE BODES ILL FOR ALL LIVING BEINGS!!
Thus begins her transformation; witnessed as if in slow motion, her lightening quick descent into the Hellish Abyss of THE TRULY DAMNED is said to have caused instant insanity at the very sight of this horrendous event; For now She must face the greatest battle of her life...the battle within, the struggle to refrain from unleashing Her Demonically Possessed Inner Beastie: It lives deep within the darkest rage fueled regions of her very soul, This very battle wages deep within millions of Mommies the world over up to as many as several thousand times each day, she fights this battle within while she smiles at the ass-hat that cuts in the drop-off pick-up line at her child's school, or while the mechanic tries to tell her that her tranny is slipping out of gear because it needs to be replaced and will cost several hundred $ when SHE KNOWS DAMNED WELL that the linkage just needs to be adjusted....the kids will not shut up even for 2 seconds of the day, the boss is an overbearing ass but she smiles and nods as if every time he opens his PIE-HOLE he spews an intelligent & comprehendable sentence or thought.....YES these and many other occurrences may trigger the unthinkable-- For during a caffeine deficient moment of weakness even the worst terrors in HELL will resemble HEAVEN for the BEASTIE within is said to have bare-handedly, w/the rage of a thousand psychotic, under-appreciated yet over-worked and over-loaded Mommies, in blood-bath like fashion, maimed, dismembered, and/or killed  anyone unlucky enough to find themselves within a mile of her.

BUT WHAT COULD BE EVEN WORSE THAN THIS????...That would be sending the Hubs/boyfriend/significant other to the grocery store where-*ominous music plays* He commits the ULTIMATE HORROR....upon returning from shopping the simple minded idiot proceeds to release a brain-fart of epic proportions...without remorse and if he has a death-wish; with an annoyed tone or outright defiance, the JACK ASS dares to utter  one or both of the following phrases:
 1)   "Oh, (chuckling) I guess I forgot to buy your coffee." 
 2)   "Why don't you just have a cup of tea instead?"
Thus sealing his fate...he has now enraged the BEASTIE and will surely endure his own horrifyingly brutal and bloody demise, according to un-confirmed reports and legends told & re-told from one generation to the next through out the history of "HUMAN-KIND", the Java-Deprived Beastie has been known to have effected complete annihilation of her said Significant Other's nether region with her bare hands, a butcher knife, scissors, any sharp object close at hand including but not limited to a dull rusty shard of metal, perhaps a rusty soda can, a GINSU KNIFE...it matters not to her the weapon she uses as she joyfully shreds him. For she takes pleasure in knowing that when she is done....he will shall never again salute the rising sun with the now mangled, somewhat pureed looking lil soldier he once proudly referred to as  "STAFF SARGENT STIFFY JOHNSON"(or one of their other million idiotic nicknames for it)....instead ... THE BEASTIE will do 1 of 2 things with it....either shove it down his throat or up his ass :)~...hee hee...
...and when this terrifying, tragic day comes to pass; MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THOSE AROUND HER!! For all texting/talking ~n~ driving~but not paying attention to the road, signs, traffic lights, or other cars TWAT-WAFFLES, the annoying/criminally stupid/should-have been locked away @ birth  ASS-HATS  that dare to cross her path shall feel the wrath of  the coffee-deprived BEASTIE, for she walks the path of the Damned!!!!
THIS TRAGICALLY  BLASPHEMOUS OCCURRENCE  WILL SURELY CAUSE BLOODSHED, PANIC,  &  MAYHEM, !!!  NO BEING IS SAFE....ONLY A LARGE TO-GO CUP OF "THE HIGHEST OCTANE, JUST ONE SNIFF WILL WAKE YOU UP " COFFEE held in your out-stretched hands upon approaching her will cause said BEASTIE to vanish faster than you can blink....so heed this warning....and never break the Golden Rule of Coffee:
"THOU SHALT NOT EVER... EVER... EVER, RUN OUT OF COFFEE!!!

PS....
You, my friends, family, ....and even my enemies can relax....Your lives are not in any (lack of coffee induced)danger....I have taken the solemn vow....I will at all times keep in stock a minimum of at least 10 lbs of coffee, I do & will always strive to re-stock at this point....BUT....YES I SAID BUT!!!....should the day come to pass when I find myself without coffee....my Lil Sister lives on the road behind me and she ALWAYS  has a minimum of 5 or more 5lb cans of coffee...lol...so Y'all are safe :)
PSS...
Yesterday IT HAPPENED!!!  I ran out of coffee....Y'all are alive cuz  my Lil SIS saved your ASSES when she  gave me a can of coffee to get me through the BEASTIE BATTLE ROYALE....please be sure to show your undying gratitude to her ASAP :)

A DAY WITH NO COFFEE????....BLASPHEMY!!!!! Part 1

DISCLAIMER: 
1)     PUT THE COFFEE DOWN BEFORE READING.....failing to do so may result in choking, spewing, sloshing of your liquid sanity....should this occur immediately yell run to all around you so they may live to see another day. 


2)     I am a coffee-loving  insomniac and on occasion I allow the twisted, sleep-deprived brain cells and voices out of their cells. This usually leads to off the wall blog posts such as  A DAY WITHOUT COFFEE-part I & II ... both of which  are the result of  twisted brain cells & the voices;  The following posts are a compilation of my personal coffee addiction and that of several others who share the blood type JAVA-HIGH-OCTANE with me
3)     Please feel free to share them with friends...give someone you know a much needed laugh...and yes, this twisted mind will be cranking out many more such rants/posts in the near future




Please, HEED MY WARNING:
Always follow the Golden Rule of all COFFEE LOVERS.....aka....C.L.s:
"THOU SHALT NOT EVER... EVER... EVER, RUN OUT OF COFFEE!!!
  
"A DAY WITH NO COFFEE"....SHHHH.....SPEAK QUIETLY, for if the COFFEE GODS happen to hear you say this, they will surely strike you down with a thousand bolts of lightening!!!


Bow down to those who provide us with the ELIXIR OF SANITY that fills our cups with the highly caffeinated, dark-roasted nectar we call coffee. Coffee has surely  spared millions the terror of facing the raging-caffeine-induced wraith of a MOM deprived of sleep, quiet, and the right to ever go to the bathroom alone!!

A typical java addicted C.L.'s greatest fear/nightmare  is forgetting to buy coffee, resisting the over-whelming urge to bare-handedly, w/the rage of a thousand psychotic, under-appreciated yet over-worked and over-loaded Mommas, maim, kill.....or alter our Significant Other's nether region with a butcher knife....

You, my friends, family, ....and even my enemies can relax....Your lives are not in any (lack of coffee induced)danger....I have taken the solemn vow....I will at all times keep in stock a minimum of at least 10 lbs of coffee, I do & will always re-stock at this point.

THIS TRAGICALLY  BLASPHEMOUS OCCURRENCE  WILL SURELY CAUSE PANIC & MAYHEM, !!!

...and when this terrifying, tragic day comes to pass; MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THOSE AROUND YOU!! For all text/talk ~n~ drive, annoying/criminally stupid/should-have been locked away ASS-HATS/JACKWAGONS/CRASH TEST DUMMIES that dare to cross your path shall feel the wrath of  the coffee-deprived, for you walk the path of the DAMNED!!!!



"THOU SHALT NOT EVER... EVER... EVER, RUN OUT OF COFFEE!!!