A DAY WITH NO COFFEE????....BLASPHEMY!!!!! Part 1

DISCLAIMER: 
1)     PUT THE COFFEE DOWN BEFORE READING.....failing to do so may result in choking, spewing, sloshing of your liquid sanity....should this occur immediately yell run to all around you so they may live to see another day. 


2)     I am a coffee-loving  insomniac and on occasion I allow the twisted, sleep-deprived brain cells and voices out of their cells. This usually leads to off the wall blog posts such as  A DAY WITHOUT COFFEE-part I & II ... both of which  are the result of  twisted brain cells & the voices;  The following posts are a compilation of my personal coffee addiction and that of several others who share the blood type JAVA-HIGH-OCTANE with me
3)     Please feel free to share them with friends...give someone you know a much needed laugh...and yes, this twisted mind will be cranking out many more such rants/posts in the near future




Please, HEED MY WARNING:
Always follow the Golden Rule of all COFFEE LOVERS.....aka....C.L.s:
"THOU SHALT NOT EVER... EVER... EVER, RUN OUT OF COFFEE!!!
  
"A DAY WITH NO COFFEE"....SHHHH.....SPEAK QUIETLY, for if the COFFEE GODS happen to hear you say this, they will surely strike you down with a thousand bolts of lightening!!!


Bow down to those who provide us with the ELIXIR OF SANITY that fills our cups with the highly caffeinated, dark-roasted nectar we call coffee. Coffee has surely  spared millions the terror of facing the raging-caffeine-induced wraith of a MOM deprived of sleep, quiet, and the right to ever go to the bathroom alone!!

A typical java addicted C.L.'s greatest fear/nightmare  is forgetting to buy coffee, resisting the over-whelming urge to bare-handedly, w/the rage of a thousand psychotic, under-appreciated yet over-worked and over-loaded Mommas, maim, kill.....or alter our Significant Other's nether region with a butcher knife....

You, my friends, family, ....and even my enemies can relax....Your lives are not in any (lack of coffee induced)danger....I have taken the solemn vow....I will at all times keep in stock a minimum of at least 10 lbs of coffee, I do & will always re-stock at this point.

THIS TRAGICALLY  BLASPHEMOUS OCCURRENCE  WILL SURELY CAUSE PANIC & MAYHEM, !!!

...and when this terrifying, tragic day comes to pass; MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THOSE AROUND YOU!! For all text/talk ~n~ drive, annoying/criminally stupid/should-have been locked away ASS-HATS/JACKWAGONS/CRASH TEST DUMMIES that dare to cross your path shall feel the wrath of  the coffee-deprived, for you walk the path of the DAMNED!!!!



"THOU SHALT NOT EVER... EVER... EVER, RUN OUT OF COFFEE!!!