Saturday, June 2, 2012

"I don't wanna go to school", Spit-up, poop, & the great shoe hunt

 We have all had "those" mornings, the morning from HELL. Thursday was one of those "I just want to go back to bed, pull the blankets up over my head, and have a DO-OVER.
My mornings begin at 5 a.m. I wake up half an hour before I have to get Mr. Grumplestilskin up for school...he is 12 and in the 6th grade. I use this 30 minutes of "ME" time to drink as much coffee as I can to wake myself up I sit here in silence, enjoying it as I know those evil lil demons of mine will destroy it soon.
I must have hit the snooze button one too many times this morning, because I woke up at 5:58 a.m. ....CRAP!!! I jump up, rush to Mr. G.'s room "Wake up, I over-slept! You have 27 minutes to get up, dressed, eat, brush your teeth and get out the door." Needless to say the Grumple-miester did not disappoint me....Grumbling and moving slower than molasses on a sub-zero day in January, he goes about getting ready, I go for coffee only to discover that I forgot to program the machine last night...GGGRRRRR!!! Mr. G can't find his shoes, wants Mom to get him his cereal while he is searching...ummm hello?? I can't even find the patience to wait for my coffee!!
So I get his cereal, he actually gets out the door on time...I still have not had my coffee...and  cue my 11 month old grandson's wailing....I babysat both him and his 3 yr old brother to give my daughter a break overnight to actually get some sleep. So it is now 6:30, I get him his bottle, change his diaper and in toddles the 3 yr old....get his cereal, still have not had my coffee, must wake up my 10 yr old mini me...."No Mommy, I have a 5 minute nap" GGRRRR...fine...I finally get my 1st cup off coffee....crap it's 7 a.m. now...she won't get out of bed!!
"I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL!!"...and the battle has begun...I had to physically dress her myself, then told her to get her shoes on while I get her cereal.....
5 minutes later I ask her "Why don't you have your shoes on??"....."I can't find them."
"The Great Shoe Hunt is on" is now 7:58, I still have to get the11 month old and the 3 yr old dressed, find her shoes, brush her hair---the tangled mass of golden tresses from HELL, get her to brush her teeth, ...crap where is 3 yr old's shoes??? and get out the door by 8:20 to make it to the bus stop on time....@ 8:16 I find both pairs of shoes hidden under her dresser...she says "But I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL" am really trying not to lose it here but GGRRRR....
At 8:24 we get out the door, as I am putting the 11 month old into the happens...He spit up, "Linda Blair" style, projectile spit up of epic proportions right down the front of my shirt.....EEEWWWWW....I, gagging, wipe myself off as best as I can cuz I have no time to change, zip my hoodie all the way up so I don't have to smell it as I half jog-walk pushing the stroller with 3 yr old piggy-back style riding on my back and pulling snarky lil mini me along....I call the bus garage to have them alert the bus driver that I am running late please don't me is the only pick up here as a special needs student...our normally 6 min. walk to bus stop turned 11 minute mad dash from Hell complete with non stop whining, bus driver had waited almost 5 minutes cuz she knows with my mini-me, morning sensory overload & meltdowns & hilarity are abundantly our norm :)
It was very chilly so my ears are hurting, I have ear infections in wonder our lil ones cry so much...that shit hurts!!! I get back home with my Grandsons and before I can change my shirt and clean myself up??? The 11 month old craps his explosion that  escaped from each direction with a stench that rivaled the "Linda Blair" like spit up that I am still wearing...GGGRRRR
9:30 a.m. .....all is quiet- I have cleaned up the baby, cleaned up myself and changed my clothes and am finally having my 2nd cup of coffee of the morning....usually this would be the 2nd pot of coffee.
I hope Y'all have had an easier morning than I have :)


  1. You are my hero. I'm telling you, I'd have had a melt down if I was only on my first cup of coffee when this ended.

    This would not be pretty..

    PS hint to blogging,, the word verification that you have turned on, will detour a lot of people who would comment. Us oldies hat that thing.. lol..

    1. Believe me, I have had my share of meltdowns over the years. Luckily we have learned coping techniques, gotten on the right meds, and I have my therapist that I get to release all the pent up crap with....I feel so sorry for her at times
      Thanks, I will disable that lil buggar ASAP.

  2. You made my Friday Froggin hit list, so I hope you come back to blogging. In the mean time, I'll read your archives.. I hate it when I frog on to something I really like.. and they leave..

    1. I have almost a dozen posts all in draft stage....I will work on getting them polished up and published over the weekend while checking out how your Friday Froggin Hit list works :)

  3. Seriously...we must be related. This could be a scene from my house. Forget the coffee hon...just move onto the wine and it gets better.

    1. I had seriously thought about dumping my coffee out and grabbing a very large glass of wine that morning....but I am a lightweight of hilariously epic proportions so it would have knocked me out for at least 4-6 hours....and Mt. St. Laundry had erupted the night before.