Saturday, June 2, 2012

"I don't wanna go to school", Spit-up, poop, & the great shoe hunt

 We have all had "those" mornings, the morning from HELL. Thursday was one of those "I just want to go back to bed, pull the blankets up over my head, and have a DO-OVER.
My mornings begin at 5 a.m. I wake up half an hour before I have to get Mr. Grumplestilskin up for school...he is 12 and in the 6th grade. I use this 30 minutes of "ME" time to drink as much coffee as I can to wake myself up I sit here in silence, enjoying it as I know those evil lil demons of mine will destroy it soon.
I must have hit the snooze button one too many times this morning, because I woke up at 5:58 a.m. ....CRAP!!! I jump up, rush to Mr. G.'s room "Wake up, I over-slept! You have 27 minutes to get up, dressed, eat, brush your teeth and get out the door." Needless to say the Grumple-miester did not disappoint me....Grumbling and moving slower than molasses on a sub-zero day in January, he goes about getting ready, I go for coffee only to discover that I forgot to program the machine last night...GGGRRRRR!!! Mr. G can't find his shoes, wants Mom to get him his cereal while he is searching...ummm hello?? I can't even find the patience to wait for my coffee!!
So I get his cereal, he actually gets out the door on time...I still have not had my coffee...and  cue my 11 month old grandson's wailing....I babysat both him and his 3 yr old brother to give my daughter a break overnight to actually get some sleep. So it is now 6:30, I get him his bottle, change his diaper and in toddles the 3 yr old....get his cereal, still have not had my coffee, must wake up my 10 yr old mini me...."No Mommy, I have a 5 minute nap" GGRRRR...fine...I finally get my 1st cup off coffee....crap it's 7 a.m. now...she won't get out of bed!!
"I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL!!"...and the battle has begun...I had to physically dress her myself, then told her to get her shoes on while I get her cereal.....
5 minutes later I ask her "Why don't you have your shoes on??"....."I can't find them."
"The Great Shoe Hunt is on" is now 7:58, I still have to get the11 month old and the 3 yr old dressed, find her shoes, brush her hair---the tangled mass of golden tresses from HELL, get her to brush her teeth, ...crap where is 3 yr old's shoes??? and get out the door by 8:20 to make it to the bus stop on time....@ 8:16 I find both pairs of shoes hidden under her dresser...she says "But I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL" am really trying not to lose it here but GGRRRR....
At 8:24 we get out the door, as I am putting the 11 month old into the happens...He spit up, "Linda Blair" style, projectile spit up of epic proportions right down the front of my shirt.....EEEWWWWW....I, gagging, wipe myself off as best as I can cuz I have no time to change, zip my hoodie all the way up so I don't have to smell it as I half jog-walk pushing the stroller with 3 yr old piggy-back style riding on my back and pulling snarky lil mini me along....I call the bus garage to have them alert the bus driver that I am running late please don't me is the only pick up here as a special needs student...our normally 6 min. walk to bus stop turned 11 minute mad dash from Hell complete with non stop whining, bus driver had waited almost 5 minutes cuz she knows with my mini-me, morning sensory overload & meltdowns & hilarity are abundantly our norm :)
It was very chilly so my ears are hurting, I have ear infections in wonder our lil ones cry so much...that shit hurts!!! I get back home with my Grandsons and before I can change my shirt and clean myself up??? The 11 month old craps his explosion that  escaped from each direction with a stench that rivaled the "Linda Blair" like spit up that I am still wearing...GGGRRRR
9:30 a.m. .....all is quiet- I have cleaned up the baby, cleaned up myself and changed my clothes and am finally having my 2nd cup of coffee of the morning....usually this would be the 2nd pot of coffee.
I hope Y'all have had an easier morning than I have :)

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

REDRUM ,RAGING VENT--TO ASSUME is to make and ASS of U not ME!!

We have all heard these ignorant comments an many much more insulting and vulgar ones on this subject right??

1)  Wow, pregnant again, congratulations to me, YAY for all of us tax payers, yet another dependent to feed.
2)  It's OK, you just sit there on your lazy ass getting food stamps, free medical care, and other assistance programs...While us honest, hard working people bust our asses just to barely scrape by.
 3) "After the law is passed that these people get drug tested to get food stamps then hardly anyone will be clean enough to get them...I can't wait to see those people be forced to work and stop stealing my money for their drugs and baby mama drama shit"

 ******A fiend had shared this 50something 2-FACED, CRUEL CUNT'S DOUBLE STANDARD comments with me. Yes I wrote CUNT-*I call em as I see em.*****
 (I felt my blood literally BOILING as I listened in stunned at the level of "Mean Girl", hateful and abusive behavior/treatment of a 30something Mom whose 9 yr old child witnessed this entire exchange) 

The SCENE: mom & child at checkout counter-cart loaded with groceries for 2 weeks to feed a single mom's 3 kids and herself(dad was killed by drunk driver 3 months earlier) only approx. 1/3rd was the usual-meats, milk, cereal, side fixings & the remaining 2/3rds of the loaded cart was fresh fruits, veggies, leafy greens all the good stuff :) Then the nice but smelly 50something woman behind her in line asks:

4) "Do your children actually eat these fresh fruits and veggies or do you have to force them?"  they love them, no force. to 9 yr old Tasha.."Your mommy is a smart shopper. She picked so many yummy, healthy fruits and veggies for you, @ mom " too many people don't teach their children to make healthy choices then we have to foot the bill for the fat little brats' medical care, it makes me so angry" That's when the  "nice woman" transformed into the hateful CUNT- she saw the mom's food stamp card saying "Oh I see... you're a welfare mom, You're welcome by the way, You know what? I take it as a slap in my face that you people eat better than me. you should try to spend my tax dollars a little more frugally. Canned veggies and fruits are cheaper than all of that" friend started crying she was humiliated but the BITCH wasn't done yet...she spotted the one box of HoHos and said  "Don't they prohibit you people from buying junk food on food stamps?...hmmmph, white trash with a black half kid" (WTF??????)that woman was very loud thru out this whole ordeal and thankfully another customer piped in "Carol, You know damned well you have never worked a day in your life! and your great grand daddy was black so shut up! Leave her alone...If anyone here is a lazy beggar it is you, and a few of us have wanted to tell you of for a long time you are not welcome at our poker night from here on in...and  another was you sitting on your fat ass acting like the queen spending every penny Harold worked for to keep up with the Joneses your debt and you killed Harold he worked himself into the grave trying to pay off the mountains of debt you made." the cunt "CAROL" left her cart there and left the store but not before little 9yr old "T" kicked her in the shin calling her a bad mean bully...LMAO...I love that lil girl :)
 A friend had recently posted that she is so sick of other people talking shit and making nasty comments about anyone who receives food stamps, medicaid, subsidized housing, government assistance.

It is sad that there are frauds that do milk the system and become career welfare families, but THEY ARE NOT A FAIR REPRESENTATION OF THE TYPICAL FAMILY TODAY THAT IS ON ASSISTANCE!!

 then on a page that this issue was brought up on --I SNAPPED-blood boiling, REDRUM RAGE...the outright hatred and vicious way these "Ladies" had gone on the attack of a single mom of 3 whose youngest requires  lot of medical care was the last straw....

WARNING** ADULT LANGUAGE, RAGE, VENT** not read any further until you set down your drink, finish chewing and swallow that am too far away to effectively perform the Heimlich thingy...ENJOY :) This is my back broken by that last straw- rant:

**YES, I am on assistance, I am not ashamed to say I need help, I work part-time and as of June 11th will be going to College part-time too. I single parent a 12 yr old son w/Aspergers/ADHD, & a 10 yr old lower functioning autistic daughter with over a dozen other related and non related disorders on top of the ASD, she is mentally a 4-5 yr old in
 a soon to be 11 yr old already hormonal puberty stricken body, she is my mini me...I do all this while living with my own disabilities--severe ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome with Coprolalia...this coprolalia causes me to swear
involuntarily the tourettes cause painful muscle spasms tics noises etc...So to all you HOLIER THAN THOU, I PAY FOR YOUR FOOD BS....I DO MORE IN THE 1st hr I am awake than Your lazy ass does all week!! Hell what I do in 1 week would take you months!! SO TO ALL YOU BUTTHURT WAHH WAHH MY TAXES, BLAH ,BLAH, BLAH, SUCK ON THIS!! You Skanky~Skunk~Assed,~Stankin',
AWWW HELL TO THE NO, FrumUnda Cheese-Encrusted, Blue~Twat-waffles that ain't yet been schooled in the fine art of shutting their Ass-Tarded, Ignorant Shit~Holes, yes the gaping sewer hole you are spewing your ignorance for all to see from...and since they have not yet learned how to control their over-inflated egos or how not to step in a huge, freshly Shat, still
steaming pile of cow shit, but are still too lazy to clean them nasty shit
covered hooves off before stuffing them into the Cavernous Cum Guzzling, Shit~Holes spewing that ignorant shit 'bout us BITCHES on assistance outta them asses or faces?? I ain't yet figured out if those Shit~Holes on them nasty
pimply covered things that are either their faces or their asses...whatever....I welcome anyone to dare to say that shit to my face...I may be small but I will take a bitch down and I will walk away intact...when the dust clears??....crap...I'ma gonna need a hundred or 2 lbs of cat litter to clean up what is left of that one...NEXT????

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Homemade Cat litter/room/carpet Deodorizer

Let's face it...LIFE STINKS!!
that having been said...the litter box is STINKY!!!  I spent $5 on the citrus baking soda litter box deodorizer and it worked great....but they don't make it in any other scent!! So I bought several boxes of cheap, generic baking soda and several small bottles of different scented essential oils....Guess what??? I can get the same amount for less than $2 and depending on my mood use a different scent :()

1 clean, dry mason jar or even an old coo whip tub will do
1 box baking soda
10-15 drops of essential oil
1 nail
1 hammer
 a small board/piece of 2x4 works great
1 large darning needle

 1) Put the lid of jar or tub on the piece of wood and use the nail and hammer to poke holes into lid for sprinkling

  Pour in the baking soda and add oil...just a few drops at a time til you get the desired strength of scent that you prefer. Put the lid on and shake...then open, sniff, add more oil if needed....

  For the carpet just sprinkle this on a few minutes prior to vacuuming....keeps the whole room smelling clean and keeps you happy :)

  OR....when putting the lid on the mason jar leave the insert out and using the fabric, cut out a circle but allow at least 1-2" larger than the lid of your jar or container, poke holes in it with a large darning needle, then put the outer ring of the jar over it and screw it on...or use a length of ribbon to tie on your fabric top...set in the room to freshen :)

Around the holidays I like to use clove oil :)


Coffee in...check, dressed...pj's count right?...check.......let the fun begin ;}~
After being so rudely awakened yesterday the neighbors stayed gone all day...I had a very peaceful day of rest until....**enter ominous sounding music here**
Last night I hear their loud-as-hell-exhaust-needs-fixed-car pull in....immediately the 2 lil Midget Screeching Banshee Brats(MSBBs) jump out and start running around their yard(hee-hee)--mind you, it is well after 9pm--Screeching Banshee Bitch--SBB jumps out to car-screeching and cussing at them and at hubs to get them in the house....hubs chases them around the yard and finally herds the lil MSBBs into the house-door slams.....all is quiet for oh maybe 15 minutes....door burst open SBB throws lil MSBBs shoes outside, screeching about dog door.....door bursts open again, SBB tosses out hub's shoes, screeching at him a stream of profanity the likes of which a trucker or sailor would.....door slams...10 minutes later??? Hubs is outside with the toilet bowl scrubber, a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner and is scrubbing all 3 pairs of shoes off with the garden hose......MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
**side note**
HA HA.....I was feeling super SNARKY after they left yesterday, **enter ominous sounding music here**.....My awesome, yet oddly cat, Satan, has some REALLY nasty smelling it is under their porch steps...come on mother nature crank up the heat :)
NEVER PISS OFF THE CRANKY, SICK it's the QUIET  ones like me that their Momma's should have warned them about :)

Saturday, April 28, 2012

GGRRRR....Why are the noisy neighbors up and yelling at 7 am on a Saturday?

First off...thing # 4 gave me her sinus infection, plus I have ear I have not been sleeping well at all for the past 3 nights!!
My ultra-annoying neighbors(you will be reading a lot about them) decide to drag their BRATS, yes I called them brats, out into their driveway at 7 am screaming at the to get into the F**KING car!! IT'S SATURDAY MORNING!! Where could they need to go so early that they have to yell like that?
The kids are screaming, the parents are screaming, doors are slamming....but wait...brat # 1 gets out of car so mom jumps out, yelling ensues followed by more slamming doors....this went on for over 20 minutes...
Why didn't I yell out my window at them to shut the Hell up??? I have no voice they leave and I can't fall back asleep.....time to scoop the litter box.....and throw it all over their yard....I hope the mini screamers step in it and then walk thru their house :)

Friday, April 27, 2012

My 1st blog- YIKES

     So I've decided to blog about my chaotic life as a single mom of 2 adult children and 2 younger children, 2 crazed cats and the hilarity of it all....
So let's begin with the introductions....

Thing # 1 -- He is 21, lives at home, between his job & friends we see him several times a week.
Thing # 2 -- She is 20, a young mom of 2 adorable boys...yes I am a MeMaw...although they don't live      in my home, I do get to see them several times a week.
Thing # 3 -- He is 12, in 6th grade, he lives with Aspergers/severe ADHD/SPD. His room is where all scary  things reside in our home :)
Thing # 4  -- She is 10, in 4th grade, loves all that is glittery, princesses, pixies, fairy dust and all. She is also on the spectrum...mentally she is a 4-5 yr old in a 10 yr old body, she is very verbal, lower functioning ASD/SPD/Severe ADHD/ etc....
Mom -- 40+ I live with severe ADHD & Tourette' gets very interesting around here.....

THE CATS......aka....feline pinky and the brain wanna-bes

Satan- our 2 yr old all black male....Not the brightest bulb in the box--He has slid into 1 too many walls and doors..he is a trip to watch...but maybe I should buy him a helmet??
Whiskers- our 2 yr old black and white male-He seems to be the smart one....always messing with poor Satan :)

This is My Chaotic family... join us as I write about the crazy mishaps, IEP Battles, doctors, therapists, exes and bears...oh